Opening the mailbox, Meredith spotted a bright green envelope. Her name and address was creatively printed across the front, as if merry little elves were playing with a brand new set of colored pencils. Tawny rubbed back-and-forth against her legs, mewing softly.
“I got it!” Meredith screamed. “I got it!” she repeated, jumping up and down with the prized piece of mail in her hand.
A woman and her son passed by on the other side of the street, witnessing the exuberant display of enthusiasm. The boy stopped and stared just long enough to catch Meredith’s eye. She waved at him as his mother grabbed his arm, pulling him to a seemingly saner place.
“Problem, lady?” Meredith yelled. “Haven’t you ever seen anyone get exactly what they wanted, huh? Better watch where you’re going…the stinkbugs might get ya!”
The protective mother quickened her steps as the boy strained to see what else the crazy lady might be doing.
“Yeee haaaa! Tawny, this is it!”
Getting caught up in the excitement, the tortoiseshell cat dashed over to the oak tree, scurried up several feet and paused before dropping back down to the mulch below. Meredith skipped down the walk to the house. As she opened the door, the smell of pumpkin roll baking in the oven sent her endorphins into an even greater frenzy, the disco ball of her brain spinning at a fevered pace. Meredith Graham had not felt this good since the Christmas of 1989 when her parents told her she was adopted. The relief and joy over finding out she was not biologically connected to the people who raised her boosted her serotonin level off the charts. This…this beautiful, wonderful, exquisite green envelope produced the same magnificent feelings. Pure, unadulterated joy.
But then, everything changed as Meredith spotted it, crawling insidiously across the crown molding, camouflaged against the stained wood.
“No!” she screamed. “I thought they were gone.”
With her heart rate climbing, she ran to the bathroom, unrolling a ribbon of toilet paper in her haste.
“I’ll get you. I’ll get you. I’ll get you.” Her voice crescendo-ing with each phrase as she mounted the couch and reached toward the ceiling. As her foot hit the slick leather, the couch slid on the hardwood floor, sending Meredith reeling backwards toward the entertainment center.
Crack. Her head hit the edge and she fell lifeless onto the braided area rug beneath her. The stink bug flew from his place of ambush, landing on the green envelope as it perched on the edge of the table in the entryway.
The sound of the smoke alarm alerted Meredith’s next-door neighbor, who, finding the front door unlocked, discovered her body. The smell of burnt pumpkin roll wafted through the house and Gerry hurried into the smoke-filled kitchen in search of the phone. Snapping the oven’s control to the off position, she opened the back door to let the smoke out and picked up the cordless. Venturing back into the living room, she dialed 911. As she was heading outside to wait for the ambulance, she noticed the menacing presence of the stink bug. Letting out a slight scream, Gerry picked up the corner of the envelope and tossed it out the door. Whatever dream-come-true the green envelope contained, it was squashed over the head of a randomly placed insect. Now doesn’t that just stink?
-- Hana Haatainen Caye
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